Happy 14 To My Soon To Be High Schooler Teen

Happy Birthday, my sweet Mica! You're fourteen years old now and can rightfully call yourself a teenager. This is your sophomore year as a teen. Thirteen was trial by fire, and, seeing that you made it through, you can now walk the hallowed halls of teendom. Choose your path wisely. There will be many.

To say that I am proud of the young woman you're becoming is an understatement. You are wise beyond your years and are more empathetic than most grown-ups. Your view and understanding of the world around you are as complex as beautiful. Those who know you correctly describe you as an "old soul."

You have grown into an amazing young woman. You are a beautiful, intelligent, and so caring human being. You shine in everything you do. Your friends look up to you so much. Please know how incredibly blessed I feel when I see you.

As I watched you grow into this extraordinarily independent, brave, curious, and outspoken young woman, I couldn’t smile more for who you are. I see those qualities of you as a little girl and how they are serving you now, and I am already imagining how they will serve you in the future.

It is such a delight to meet with your teachers. They have nothing but praise for you. Raising you is easy. You're mature and well-rounded, and you take the responsibilities seriously.

Please never forget that life is a journey, an ongoing lesson. You’ll make mistakes. Make them. That’s where growth happens. Learn from those mistakes because if you continue to make them, they are no longer mistakes but choices. I have made many mistakes, but that is OK; they have made me stronger than you.

Continue to choose your friends well. Surround yourself with people who inspire, understand, love you, and make you feel good about being you! Real friends are invaluable. They are trusting and loyal. They stick with you through good times and bad, happy or sad. Some will come and go, but your true friends will be with you always.

Just so you know, smart is the new cool. Never be ashamed of being smart or nerdy or loving chess, science, and math. Smart never goes out of style; it stays with you as you grow and will lead you down the most successful paths. And wanting to win is ok. Just win for the right reasons!

I love how you stand up for what you believe is right. Remember, Mica, the greatest things were not achieved by following the crowd but by leading one. Do what you believe is right and never falter under the pressures of others' beliefs. Don’t be afraid to disagree with people; not everyone will think the same way you do.

Live your life with purpose and give purpose to your life. Never turn a blind eye to someone in need. Remember that doing good deeds will reap the most significant benefits. Keep on doing things that you enjoy all by yourself once in a while. Continue to treasure your own company. That is something that took me a long time to do.

I know one day, in the not-so-distant future, you will go off and not need me the way you do now. To sit on your bed and cuddle you to sleep. To go grocery shopping together or drive you to school and other classes. And I already miss it!

People say time with your children goes by too fast. And I don’t know. Maybe it does. But I think it goes as it should if you do it right. If you’re really all in. Paying attention. Noticing. Staying in the moment, even when it’s hard. And I’ve had that with you.

It may have taken me a while as a mother to get there. But I’m here now. Listening. Witnessing. Just being by your side. And time is going by as perfectly and beautifully as it’s meant. Slow enough for me to savor but fast enough to understand the precious sacredness of it all.

In each of my past letters to you, I’ve shared wishes I had as you entered the following year. This time is a little different. The YOU I see daily possess incredible qualities, and my desires for you center around keeping them: continue to dream big, spend time with those you love, light your passion and fire, embrace your uniqueness, practice empathy, follow your heart, and smile. You do you since you are doing an incredible job so far!

But most importantly, never forget that God loves you unconditionally + has fantastic plans for you and that you’ll always be my baby girl!

Love you to the moon, beyond, and back,

Mom

You are 13! Happy Birthday to my teenage daughter!

Dear Mica,

I'm writing this letter to you, as I do every year on your birthday, and I still can't process the fact that today is your last day being 12. Tomorrow is your birthday, and you will be 13, which means that I will officially say goodbye to my child and welcome my teenager. Girl! you are a teenager and, in my mind, you’re still the little child who wanted the strings from every sweatshirt of mine. I think it is time for me to fast forward a few years.

This has been the fastest 13 years of my life. You are my one and only, Mica. The princess that made me a mom. You are the one God blessed me with to be mine forever. There was a day, not long ago, when I wondered if we would ever reach this sweet spot. You know, the one where we could have a nice chat, watch a movie together, go places, and more. And I must say that I think we have both grown up. You matured, I chilled out and we are now navigating this tween, now teen, thing together instead of working against the tide.

You have remained fiercely independent and so much more mature than I ever was at your age. Nobody ever told me that parenting was going to be so challenging yet so beautifully rewarding. I feel every emotion that you experienced tenfold. Every scrape and bruise, every victory, every heartache. It was exactly like I was told, "Having a child is like having your heartbeat outside of your body."

You are so passionate about your violin, art, music, books, and cinematography. You work so very hard for your grades, and it's just a gift to have all of you at school (not my imagination - your teachers have said it themselves) and in this house. You bring light and joy to my life and to those around you. 

I know you know that I am not perfect and have made many mistakes; however, all of those moments though, the good, the bad, the easy, and the difficult, have shaped you. I hope one day you will understand that what you say is important to me, and I care. I care about you more than anybody and will always be your biggest ally and most ardent fan. I promise you I will continue to show up for you at your concerts, school events, field trips, or just in general, even when you say you do not want me there.

I will surely continue to indulge you in ways that I probably should not. Please know that I will also be challenging when needed and that you will not always like me. You will want to jump up and down and scream at me. It will be okay. We will be ok. I will still love you. You will not know it at the time, but I will tell you "no" at times because it is best for you. Forgive me for using the exact catchphrases that I once said I would never repeat, like, "I'm a Latino mom, and I don't agree with that. Use me as your excuse, but you are not going to the sleepover." Unfortunately, it is just part of the growing-up package. As someone very wise once said, "It's better that you cry now than I cry later." And, as I always tell you, when you have a child, you will understand. Trust me on that.

You will have only five more years until you are considered an adult. Honor and respect them. These are magical, formative years. You will learn to drive a car, enter high school, earn your first official taxable dollar, make lots of new friends, and possibly fall in love. You will not understand why some people are mean to you. That's okay. It will have nothing to do with you. Look for the positive. Accept change. Sometimes, life will be challenging, but you will persevere. Each day you will grow and let go of me a little more. I will always be here for you whenever you need me, though.

Mica, you are one of the most determined, focused children I have ever met. Embrace your big heart, honor your values, and, most important, always believe in yourself. Be proud of who you are!

I look at you and see myself in so many ways, only you are the better version of me - the version I always wished I was... more confident, more adventurous, less neurotic and so very wise beyond your years.

Never forget that your worth is not determined by a jean size - your body is your perfectly crafted temple, - continue to grow your tribe of friends - you are amazing at choosing them, - remember that boys can always wait, believe that you are smart, capable, and stronger than you think - God has gifted you with some pretty spectacular things such as your worth ethic, your goal setting, your tenacity, and your sweetheart and I know life has some pretty fabulous things in store for you, - you have been blessed with a brilliant mind - use it for good, - trust your gut and never lose your sweet, kind, giving spirit - I am eternally proud to have the honor of being your mom.

History and experience tell me that these next five years will fly. It sure will be a grand adventure for both of us. Let’s go make it great! I love you so, so much, my pretty girl and I wish you the best birthday yet. Once again, I am so very proud of you, and welcome to your teens!

Your biggest fan,

Tu ma

Happy 12 to my pre-teen

My Mica,

You are 12 now, and I still can’t believe it! 

So, another year, another post in your blog.

Today, I’m writing this one to remind you how much I love you, how proud I am, and how amazed I am seeing you grow so mature, so graceful, so talented, so caring, so joyful, so intelligent, so bright, so unique, so resilient, so adaptable, so brave, so YOU.

I am also writing this one for you to always remember that I am always in your corner; that I will be your cheerleader, your strongest supporter, your safety net, your shoulder to cry on whenever you need me. 

Yes, my adult in the making just turned 12 today. Yes, this is the very last year before you officially become a teen. And yes, I am ready to navigate this pathway together!

I know might feel that I am silly at times, and wish I were not. But, I adore you when you are silly, because it reminds me of the child in you. I am so flattered when I see parts of me expressed in the most beautiful manner by you, but what impresses me most about you is how much you are becoming unlike me. Your uniqueness makes you an independent unit, adding to our family instead of duplicating what already existed.

As you change your music preferences, ideas, and friends, I would like to be recruited as the constant in your ever-changing world. I want to be the past that resides in your mind and comes with you everywhere you go, regardless of how profound the changes in your present moment might be. I would like to get promoted from being "just mom" to a contributor to your evolving mind so it is equipped to sculpt whatever future it dreams of.

I gladly waive all my rights to exit this relationship even in the stormiest of times!

While I don't want to be "just mom" now, I am aiming for something much higher! I am aiming to impress the grown-up who is unfolding in front of me in ways that only my un-trained mother eyes could appreciate.

One final thing my dear adult in the making. In my eyes, the world is a much better place because you exist. I am so confident that your presence in this world will be noticed because of your passion, perseverance, and commitment to the larger good. I am at peace because I see your bright future full of potential waiting to be discovered and conquered.

I love you beyond words and I thank you for making my life much better Mica! You are the best present and most wonderful blessing God could have given me! I am forever grateful to have once shared the same rhythmic heartbeat with you! 

Love,

Tu ma

Happy 11 my sweet, loving, caring, amazing, unique Mica

My sweet girl,

I’m not quite sure why this post seems harder to write than others. It isn’t as though you are turning 18 and prepping for your first year of college (even though I don't even what think about that!).

You aren’t leaving me an empty nester for goodness' sake (I may have choked a little as I typed that).

I mean…. I can still picture you the minute you were born, as well as the fear I experienced for both of us.

I can picture you as a toddler.

Those curls and that smile? Stamped right here on my brain and heart.

I have it all memorized… the upturn of your nose, the curve of your ears, the sweetness of your smile.

It could be that I’ve noticed you look older. Your unique-smile and aptitude for funny faces and eye-crossing is uniquely yours, but I can see the teenager simmering beneath the surface.

You still hold my hand, beg for time with just me, ask to watch k-dramas together, snuggle in and tell me that you love me without prompt… but I’m trying to nail down that little ‘something’ whispering that the minutes are slipping by, that your heart and curiosity about the world around you continue to flourish as the calendar flips to another birthday.

In the past year, my ‘little girl’ has morphed in to one with a far more superior sense of self than I would have dreamed. You are both confident and stubborn, intelligent and witty, bold and beautiful, kind and curious…and yet still aware that there is so much more to learn.

I’d love to believe that I can place a permanent hold on you just as you are…. the easy giggles, the minor tantrums, the hormones just beginning to surface, but I know you are meant to keep growing, journeying into the young girl and then eventually the young woman you will become. Each baby step you are taking along the way is helping you build the character that will captain you into adulthood and beyond. I’m lucky to witness it, to learn from you and to have a hand in guiding you along the way.

Sweet Girl, as you turn eleven today, I have a few hopes and wishes for you.

Keep smiling – your heart and your laughter will set your path. You will comfort friends who are having a tough time, you will remind yourself that you are in charge of picking up and starting over and you have the ability to make a stranger’s day.

Remember that L-O-S-E is not a four-letter word – When you lose….in a game, on a test, in a friendship, you are given the opportunity to learn and grow.

Stay in your lane – This goes back to my favorite: WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF FIRST! There are only so many things in life we can control. The older you get, the more you realize how important it is for you to compare yourself only to YOU. If you want to improve, be better than you were yesterday, not better than your neighbor, your friend or your teammate.

Keep that sense of humor – You are just like GOLD. You have a gift for making others laugh, for seeing the bright side in any situation, for having a quick wit and seeking out the ‘funny’. 

Continue to love with that incredible heart of yours – I know it isn’t always easy…. Try to remember, as you work your way through this next year (and beyond) that being kind is a good thing and whoever does good, will always receive good.

You will never regret being kind – A good friend gave me this quote recently and it has stuck with me. As you know, kindness has always been a priority in our home, but I hope you will carry it with you, not only this year, but for a lifetime. You have a beautiful heart, continue to share it.

Keep playing like a girl– Keep believing in your soul that ‘playing like a girl’ is as magical as you and your friends make it every time you can.

Last one:

Be Grateful– I trust this doesn’t need an explanation.

In many ways, it feels like we vacillate between ‘friends’ and ‘mom/daughter’ right now…and I admit that I love it… but we are heading in to tricky territory in the next few years as my job isn’t to be your friend, to make the decisions you like, to be the ‘most popular mom in the neighborhood’, but rather, to keep you safe, to make the decisions that I know in my heart are the best for you…and sweet Mica, those won’t always be the ‘popular’ ones and they won’t always be what ‘everyone else is doing’.

Let me tell you something very important: never swim upstream!

And I am going to keep loving you very, very hard. No matter what.

You will always have me. 

I love you more than anything and beyond,

Mom

Happy 10 - welcome to the double digit world - princess!

To the girl who made me a mom:

The day you were born changed my life forever. You have taught me more about myself than I ever thought possible. You taught me - among so many other things - to be patient, selfless, and to love unconditionally. Loving you has shown me what it means to be loved by God, for His love knows no boundaries and has no limit. I pray, every day, that you always know how much I love you. 

You were created with a special plan and unique purpose for your life. God knew you even before you were born and knit you together in my womb. I am so grateful you chose me. You are strong in spirit, disciplined in your ways, determined, high achiever, brigh minded, a natural born leader, and I could go on and on...  Although I hope you always know you are valuable and that is ok to be vulnerable.

Your heart is filled with kindness. You are a friend to many, and you never shy away from helping others. In all your years of school, you have been the first one to welcome new kids in your class with open arms, making them feel at home in a new environment. Boys and girls love you and always choose you as their best friend. I hope you always know others are valuable and they deserve our empathy no matter what.

Watching you grow has been one of life’s greatest treasures. You are intelligent, mature and responsible, yet you have an innocence about you that cannot be ignored and are bold enough to express yourself freely. I hope you never lose your sense of wonder and grateful heart.

As you approach your pre-teenage years, I want you to know how important it is to stay true to who you are in your heart of hearts. You are an amazing child, a wonderful daughter, a loving grand-daughter, a caring great-grand-daughter, and more. You are not of this world, and I hope you embrace that with love and awe. Never be afraid to stand up for what you believe or stand out for what you believe, and never sacrifice who you are to please someone else. Learn to show love to others right where they are, no matter their race, religion, or social status. Learn to show love to others even when they don’t love you. Condition your heart to operate out of service, and be the hands and feet of Jesus to those who need it most. Learn to face disappointment with dignity.

Life will not always go how you planned, and you will not always get what you want. Give yourself time to grieve, then get back up, dust yourself off and keep pressing forward. Never blame The Universe for life’s mishaps. Turn towards God, rather than away from Him. He is the ultimate comforter, healer, confidant, and friend. 

Honor your family tree. Know that we make each and every decision concerning your life out of love for you and respect for the woman you will soon become. God entrusted me with your life because He believed we were best suited to help you navigate it. If you ever doubt our intentions, you can trust that we are in partnership with Him. I love you so much, my girl.

Growing up is bittersweet. That I must say since I would never forgive myself if I were to lie to you. I will always be here for you, through every success and every failure. I am so proud of who you are and who you are becoming.

Welcome to double digits!

With love,

Your prefectly imperfect mama