You are growing up before my eyes and it fills me with wonder and joy, awesomeness and fear. I marvel at what a beautiful and kind girl you have become! Your smile and your bubbly energy can lighten the mood of a room, or any person around you, in a second. And even though I could be afraid of what this world has to offer as you journey further into it I don´t, because I know how cautious, smart, careful, and mature you are.
Today, on your 9th birthday I want you to remember these 9 things as you continue to grow and start pulling farther from me. If you can remember these things, I know you will be more than okay.
1) Trust God, trust the universe, and trust your instincts.
I hope that I can instill in you a deep sense of faith. Our God is a loving and trustworthy God. He has a plan and a purpose for your life that is more beautiful than what anyone can imagine. Learn to talk to Him daily, put your faith in Him alone, and trust Him with all things. He will never fail you. He created the universe filled with vast opportunities and wonders just for you. And He will give you the instincts and discernment you need to make hard choices and face hard things in this life. You will never fall when you lean into Him while opening to all the best possibilities and presents that are already there, given, for you.
As you grow, you will start to see that many people in this world are not that kind and that many more are selfish. I know you are different, and just pray that you will continue to be different. You have inherited your papapa’s kind and generous heart and I want you to embrace it! I want you to spread kindness like wildfire, just like ydid did his whole life. You are his legacy, and you should be proud to be so much like him.
I know you have already began to think about boys and dream about marrying one someday. Dream away, princess! Here’s the thing, though: I want you to remember that love is worth it when it’s real, but love is not the same thing as affection, gifts, or other romantic movie stuff. Love is not sacrifice and hard work. Love is not being more concerned about the wellbeing of your other half than you are for your own. Love is loving yourself first and so much that nothing can surpass that. Love may also mean having your heart broken sometimes, and that’s okay too. Broken hearts heal, and loving deeply and truly is worth it. I want you to fall in love, and fall hard, but also let yourself–your true self–be loved deeply in return. Don’t hold back when you find your love, sweetheart. Love is always worth the risk. And please never ever stop loving yourself first.
Never, ever, ever, ever settle for second best. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you are not worthy. You are awesome, smart, talented, kind, beautiful, and capable of doing anything you set your mind to. Therefore, chase after the best of everything and expect that it can be yours because you so deserve it.
Always remember to be a warrior not a worrier. I hope I can be an example of a good fighter for you. I have learnt to fight for myself and for the ones I love and it has been one of the greatest lessons learnt. I want you to learn that as well. If you see injustice or inequality or corruption, I want you to be brave and bold enough to fight against it. When you know that someone is doing wrong, I want you to stand up and tell the world about it and then do your best to fight against it. You may not win every battle, and please be careful to choose those that are truly worth fighting, because sometimes this world favors greed over good, but it doesn’t matter. Fight anyway. Be the light and the voice and the advocate for good in this world. Fighting for what is right is always the right choice.
Even if you screw up royally, I will be there to help you figure out a solution. I won’t be able to fix everything life will throw at you but know that you always-always have my support. If and when you choose to streak your hair purple, try a new style of clothing, or change in ways I cannot fathom today, I will always remember exactly what you looked like as a sleeping baby who fit just so in my arms. As the center of your universe changes and you begin to assert your independence, remember you are and will always be the center of mine. No matter where you go or what you do I will always worry if you are safe, if you are happy, if you need anything. Go spread your wings and fly high but remember that this is why I will ask countless questions, some of which you will not want to answer. Forgive me, I will ask anyway.
Boys, girls, sex, drugs, there is no topic that affects you that I don’t want to know about. I will have my opinions, I might even have to step in to strongly guide you back on the right path but you will always have my ear - and I promise not to judge you - when you need it.
As you get older these mistakes will be bigger - and probably more noticeable - than the ones I’ve already made, like the time I thought you were deaf (thanks to that dumb nurse) and started slamming doors and drawers to see your reaction to it... Some of my mistakes will hurt you, just as some of your mistakes will hurt me too and I want you to know that I am very sorry for all the mistakes made and even for the ones to come.
As the opinions of your peers become more important and the use of “seriously mommy?” increases, know that this time of challenge between us will be temporary. I know someday my opinion will matter most to you in the world - just like grandma´s opinion matters so much to me now - and that you will be very happy to see me. And I just want to remind you - once again - that I will always love you. There is nothing you can ever do to change how much I love you. This is fixed as time itself. I know there will be times when I don’t like the choices you will make but never doubt that you are my heart outside of my body and that means a whole lot.
I love you forever my big-big girl,
Your Mama
