Letter to my Goldilocks: 26 months

Micaela, you have turned 26 months old a couple of days ago and, let me tell you that the past month with you has been golden to me, in large part because you have undergone an enormous intellectual growth spurt. Your personality, your communication skills, your ability to reason through problems, your comprehension of the world around you, your engagement in make-believe play – it’s all come together in big ways this month. This is SO COOL! And also we must THANK GOD because those frustrated tantrums every time a puzzle piece doesn't quite fit or we don´t play exactly as you want us to play have not killed us darling... :)

The big problem I've run into over the past month is that people…well…they understand you. You have dozens of nursery rhymes and songs memorized. Dozens. And sometimes when something reminds you of one, you just burst into verse right there. A recital of Bah, bah black sheep, all five verses of The wheels on the bus pretty much every nursery rhyme in existence, seven in a row – whatever it is, you bust it out, and people understand. Three or four lines into your masterpiece, they always compliment you and cheer you on (which you don´t always like...  you want them to listen, enjoy, and keep it to themselves).

By the time you've finished singing them a few lullabies, regaling them with Exciting Tales! about your last visit to the Supermarket! WHICH WAS EXCITING! and telling them all about the big bad wolf, though, they’re looking at me like can’t I please intercede? All they want is to applaud you on your first song and now they've spent ten minutes listening to you rattle on about how mannequins at Wong don´t have heads. And I’m pretty much like, HA, this is my girl. Tell me if you find a two year old with so much information and vocabulary... 

You know what, my sweet princess? Nobody will ever be able to accuse you of being boring. NO ONE! You are so much fun and make my days shine, even when I want to lay in bed, cover myself and sleep for 2 days in a row because something else went wrong. 

You have also become unbelievably polite lately. Don’t get me wrong, you’re still two. You still interrupt conversations, strip in public, throw tantrums, and shriek in pitches only bats can hear at every available opportunity. But you also say please and thank you, apologize, and dole out hugs if you think your actions hurt someone – completely independently.

Sometimes watching you grow up absolutely blows my mind. You used to be a tiny bundle of digestive processes and then WHAM!, here you are excusing yourself when you burp. Every time it happens, I feel a little blown away. Like: WHAY TO GO CYN, I made a person! A real person! And an exceptional one WHO SAYS PLEASE AND THANK YOU!

Darling girl, your father and I adore you. We adore you with every inch of our bodies, every beat of our hearts, every breath in our lungs.

We love you more than you can ever imagine, and we will always love you that way!

Momma 

When you wish upon a star...

"...If your heart is in your dream

No request is too extreme

When you wish upon a star

As dreamers do..."

- When You Wish Upon a Star, Musical Disney Soundtrack

My sweet Micaela

Dear Micaela, 

You haven’t entered tantrum territory yet, but you have learnt a “fake cry” (which when asked will do perfectly to impress others). You have also mastered the art of persuasion. Whenever you know you’re in trouble or doing something you know you shouldn’t, you show us your infectious smile and let out a giggle in the hopes of creating a distraction.

Soldadito de Plomo

Just today while we were running around the house and I asked you to stop. You turned around, smiled, walked a few more steps and turned again to make sure that I was still watching. You are definitely testing our boundaries and it took all my strength not to laugh or smile at your antics.

Blanca Nieves y los 7 Enanitos

As parents we want to raise you well, to make you understand that we do what we do, even when you don´t like it, because we love you too much; but we must also remember that in this crazy world one must have a very strong and well defined personality not to get bullied or stamped. And there, my sweet and stubborn baby, we have gotten a very strong willed princess! Your cheeky, unique, and quirky nature has us constantly laughing. :)

Con el Principe Erik

Whether it be the way you fall asleep or how you insisted on wearing your sunglasses at night. Or when we spend a lot of time putting you to bed and you are almost asleep, when suddenly you roll over to jump up and dance in the bed.

Tontín

I feel incredibly lucky to have such a spirited little girl. You are truly a delight to watch — ever inquisitive, ever beautiful.

Caperucita Roja

Much love, to the infinity and beyond,

Mommy

Mother´s day celebration at Feeling Good!

Personalize a scrapbook design

My heart

I know I have briefly mentioned this before in some of my posts, but I wanted to go a little further into detail with it and describe what I mean when I talk about the mountain of emotions that overcome you the day you become a Mama.

Crying.

Crying Mama.

Anyone out there like me?

You had a baby.

Life is absolutely wonderful.

But you cry so easily.

All the sadness.

All the pain.

All the diseases and illnesses.

All of it just makes you sad.

Tears you up.

You become a big baby.

The best way to describe it.

Now, before you get all crazy on me and thinking there is something wrong. Let me begin by saying, NOTHING is wrong. No one is depressed, and no one hates life.

Especially not me.

I am more in love with this life given to me ....and i couldn't imagine a better life.

What I am trying to describe here is actually too challenging for words. Too complex. And I fear that it will be misinterpreted. But I am attempting here. So bare with me.

I have always been an emotional person. I was always that girl that if the teacher even thought I did something wrong and confronted me about it... I would tear up. And once I teared up, there was no holding back those tears. 

And on top of that. I was always a mess when I cried.

I was always the person that cried at every sad movie, anytime anyone else cried, and at the thought of anything happening to my loved ones.

I cried easily. Always have. And always will.

And ever since I become a mama... those emotions, those tears, all the sadness I feel for others that are less fortunate... have amplified by 100.

For instance. I was at Wong a few days back returning something. When I was in line waiting, I noticed the women in front of me had two children. One about the age of five, and the other a little over 1 sitting in the cart. Her clothes were disheveled and she looked like she hadn't had a bath in a while. The little girl locked eyes with me. And sadness. I just saw sadness. And at the same time, I saw the sweetest little girl that deserves nothing but an abundance of love.

So in that moment, I thought to myself (and this is partly my fault), that she wasn't getting what she deserved. I imagined my own child in that situation, and I thought how sad I would have been for her.

In that moment, I wanted to save her. I wanted to take her home and save her from what I had assumed was not a well enough environment that she was living in.

It's silly. I know this. (And no I was not trying to steal a child. I'm not a nut-case... although I am sure I am sounding like one). But I couldn't help how I felt, and the sadness that I felt for her.

And of course I got in the car and shed a few tears... just thinking about how much I loved my daughter, how much I couldn't wait to go home and hold her and tell her how special she was, and how I wanted nothing but the world in the palm of her hands.

And I want that for all children.

• I want every child in this world to be loved the way they deserve to be loved. 
• I want them to feel safe in a way that they never have fear in their eyes. 
• I want them to never feel lonely, to smile, to laugh, giggle, and get lost in discovering the beauty of life. 
• I want them to have every little thing their heart deserves. 
• To be held at night and have their forehead kissed. 
• To never feel pain, illness, or discomfort in their own body. 
• To have an identity, to feel empowered, to be important. 
• And above all else, to feel wanted, needed, loved, and deserved. 

But that's not reality.

Not all children get to experience this.

Life isn't all that easy.

And that. That's what breaks my heart. That's what I think about. That's what I read about. And that's when I start to cry. Mainly because I see this child that I have been blessed with, and I think to myself... how can life ever cause her pain?

So when I see other stories, see other lives that are breaking, it touches my heart deeply. I imagine my situation and my life, and the tears just come. Easily.

Maybe I'm not a strong person. I'd like to think that I am. But my family, Pablo, and my child are my everything. And every time I read another sad story, or hear about someone in pain, it reminds me to go home and give him and our baby more kisses. Hug them a little tighter. Hold them a little closer.

Life can be tough. Life can be hard. 

Being a mother is a whole new chapter of that life.

An amazing chapter at that.

But it also brings on a whole new mountain of emotions.

Fear. Sadness. Worry. 

And as that one saying goes....

Becoming a mother means you let your heart walk outside your body.

It couldn't be more true.

Life affects me so much more.

I am more aware of the sadness in the world.

I am more aware of the fears that I have because of all the pain and illnesses that occur.

I am more aware of the worry that comes with becoming a mother.

My heart is out there.

Walking around in the danger of the world.

And all I want is to keep it safe.

To keep her safe.

Because she is my heart. 

And it's growing everyday.