Parenting is a very interesting and yet undefined concept. There are so many experts that will tell you to do this in order to be in the right path and avoid that if you don´t want any problems later. They will tell you this will help your child grow and develop into a kind, patient, strong individual while that will surely end with a lot of... problems. Whatever those problems they predict will be...
The dilemma with experts defining parenting is that every opinion is different. Sure, some may reflect the same bases. Yes, overall everyone can give you a general idea of their definition of parenting. But, when you start to dig deep into each different category pertaining to parenting, you will then begin to run into conflicting statements, styles, and points of view.
Parenting changes you as a person. Once you are a mother or a father you stop thinking about yourself and your needs. Nothing is black or white to you anymore. Everything requires checks and double checks. And changes? They are a constant in your life. One minute you think you know it all. The next you find yourself dumbfounded by something you just discovered.
If we were to question ourselves about something we decide to do, think about women 50 years ago and how they felt. When there was no such thing as car seats to protect their children. How about 20+ years ago when women were urged to formula feed versus breast? How about the times when mothers were told to put babies on their belly to sleep? "Experts" used to tell mommies not to hold their babies too much since attachment is bad, and that babies need to learn to cope. Years ago moms were told not to provide love to their babies. Pretty ridiculous, right?
"Do it this way. No don't do it this way. Do it that way. No wait, that's not good for the baby either. "
So I wonder. What will "the rules" be 20 years from now? What will the experts say that will meke it seem as if I were doing things wrong now?
I am a confident mother. I know that what I'm doing is best for my princess with the knowledge I have with me in this present day. Is it what every other mother is doing? Probably not, as all mothers are different. Is it that they are doing what people recommend? Maybe. But does that mean that future experts and researchers will agree with all the decisions that are made by mothers nowadays? Absolutely not.
I hope that my girl will always be aware that any decisions that I make as her mommy keep her best interest in mind. That before any expert, research article, or "trend" of the day, I use my motherly instinct, the knowledge that I hold, and follow my heart with every aspect of motherhood.
Sometimes, I learn from my own mistakes. Sometimes, I challenge myself to find different solutions or options for her. Sometimes, I read and read and read until my eyes were going to fall off.
Sometimes, I don´t read at all.
I don't believe there will ever be one definition of the perfect parenting style. Parenting is so complex as it is. So many different categories, so many different ways of going about things, so many different experts and differing opinions. It's one of the most controversial topics to date.
I don't believe you could ever describe the "perfect mother." The one who does all the things correctly, at all the right times, with all the right experts backing her up.
To me, the perfect mother is one who loves her children first, and unconditionally.
Everything else will just fall into place once you start by doing so...
No comments:
Post a Comment