Saturday, July 20, 2013

Letter to my munchkin: 28 months

Here are the things I want to remember about this age: Micaela’s cheeky giggles, her over-excited-snorting giggles, her pretend snoring, the first time she said "I missed you, mummy" when I left her at the nursery, and when she said it again after I got out of the shower, and those random first-in-the-morning sentences, like “where did the penguin leave his food", and finally the endless games of jumping up-and-down ton the bed 30 minutes before bed every night.


My sweet princess has matured so much over the past months. Her new-found concepts of sharing and swapping are now making days at "Feeling Good" and play dates easier. And although my girl is still strong willed, she is no longer face-palming other kids and is better at sharing and waiting her turn.

This maturation has resulted in Micaela making some real friends. It’s amazing to watch how much joy she gets from her developing friendships. Before the kids would play mostly independently in the same room and every so often accidentally play together. Now, my sweetie is excited about seeing friends and days later will retell stories about the games they played together: catch, hide-and-seek, and dressing up. 


Micaela’s make believe play has gotten so much more imaginative and involved. Her toy animals are often involved in complicated dramas such as taking over the pirate ship, playing hide-and-seek in the rocket ship, or just meeting-and-greeeting each other on the street.

Though my little one does not watch too much TV, she still has some favourite movies such as The Disney Princesses´ stories, Monster´s Inc. & University, and Ratatouille. Monster´s Inc. & University is definitely her first commercial obsession. She has a number of the books and will go through them on her own. She loves this movie but thankfully these movies have not usurped her love of the books.


Another development we have noticed is a real jump in her language ability. She can now narrate complex stories, speak in longer sentences, uses prepositions, and has such a large vocabulary that I couldn't tell you how many words she knows. She also recognizes most of the the letters in the alphabet and even has a dozen or so sight words that she knows. Micaela can count to twenty in Spanish and ten in English, but unless counting pieces of chocolate, usually omits three and four.

She also loves to sing. Her favorites are Baa Baa Black Sheep, Happy Birthday (including the hip hip hoorays), and If you are happy and you know it... (with actions).


Physically, my princess is getting more and more agile and steady. And she is JUMPING! That deserves to be in all caps because she is doing so much of it. Now that my girl has finally hit this milestone, she loves nothing more than to jump on our bed.

She also loves dancing. Most evenings, she makes me crank up the music, dictates which songs are played, and we both dance around for half an hour. Micaela tries to do the steps like her daddy does them, and at other times she and her daddy pace around the coffee table imitating different animals.


My little one thrives on asserting her own independence: whether it be using the step-stool to turn the tap on and washing her own hands and or simply completing a jigsaw puzzle by herself. This independence can be rather tricky as most of our requests are met with a resounding “no", at which points negations begin. Just getting her into the car after a trip to the park can often take as long as the time spent playing in the playground! 

But despite her headstrong ways and determination to be self-reliant, she is still as affectionate as ever. She loves “big" cuddles, and she loves “little" cuddles, and she loves group hugs, and really really loves “sandwiches" hugs.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Micaela, there are plenty of fish in the sea - one of the best things my mommy told me!

You're probably wondering why I made you turn to this page of the book. Why mama is writing to you and why there is a picture of you as a two year old. Yes, it's exactly what you think it means baby. I'm writing this letter long long before you know what a boyfriend is. What love means. And what heartache feels like. I'm writing this to you, during a time when you feel nothing but love. During a time where twirling around in the living room is your idea of fun. A time where the key to your heart is in the form of a furry pet and a chocolate bar. A time where your arms only want, and need to be held, kissed, and praised. And your biggest fans, your biggest admirers, and your true loves are (and will always be) your mama and papa. And that is all you need. At least for now...


I know that now in your life, you may yearn for more.

And so I decided to write to you, in 2013, as you, a blonde haired, blue eyed, 2 year old lay in bed next to me, all 35 pounds of you, curled up in the most perfect ball with the most perfect smell, knowing that you would need this from me one day. Because I want to tell you I know what you are going through. That it's okay to cry. It's okay to feel hurt. It's okay to not be able to picture your world ever being the same.


It's okay. It's normal. And I know how you feel.

Baby, as hard as this time may seem to be, right now. As much as you may not want to believe it, at this very moment. Trust me when I say this... there are plenty more fish in the sea.


Smile for me baby. Right now. Show me that smile. Wipe away those tears, and lift your head up.

Now listen to me carefully. Because I want to talk to you now while I'm young, while my memory is fresh, and during a time that I may understand better than say 15 years from now. So, with that being said, why don't we talk about those "fish" in the sea.


Fish #1.

You're going to laugh when I tell you this story. Of your mother, who at the age of 13, thought she "fell in love" with her one and only prince charming. You're going to giggle and probably poke fun of me, but that's okay. Because the sole intention of this letter is to do just that. Put that beautiful smile back on your face.

You see. It was straight from a tv show (except the age part). A new girl coming to a new school. A boy who was the leader of the "cool" oness. Both awkward. Both oh-to-young to ever know what love is. The boy... he goes up to the girl. They act way cooler than they truly are. And they are smitten. Oh so smitten. They hold hands. They listen to "punk music" (oh sweetheart I know I'm aging myself here), and she does everything possible to make him laugh. And vice-versa. And she knew it. Right there and then. He is the one. He carves their initials in the closet of their friend´s house (that they didn't own.... don't ever do that), and thinks this will last forever. Later, the girl tells her mom (your grandma) those 5 words a parent never wants to hear at that age "I have my first boyfriend". Your grandmother though... she's no fool. She just stroked my hair, gave me that hollywood smile of hers, and said "sure you are honey." You know what else she said...

"There's more fish in the sea." Except that she did it in Spanish.

So fish number one? We talked for a few months, and yes he did indeed break my little teenage heart. I cried many many tears over him swearing that I would never find love again. "No mom, you just don't understand." And then, I was soon distracted by... fish #2.


Fish #2 

This fish was my first "real" boyfriend. He went the same school as I did. Another school. He was a year older. And what happened? It didn't work out. But I mention him because... your mama (me)... well she must have watched The Notebook one too many times... because again, she found herself in a scene from a movie. A box full of his stuff. A drawer full of letters. Crying. And saying something around the lines of.... "why did this end?"

Please tell me that made you laugh as it did me. Please promise to never say such foolish things at such a young age. Please!

And then there was fish #3. 


Fish #3

This one was what one would call... "the silliest thing I could have done!". The fling after right when you start the University. Where you think you're so old and so mature. Where I thought surely by now I knew what love was. Well, obviously by my words "the silliest thing" you have probably figured out that that means it didn't work out for long. And you, my lady, are very smart. Because it didn't. And unlike the other two fish that broke my heart because it just didn't quite work out... this one did because well... he was not the most reliable one in the pond. Your mama was a smart cookie, and the minute her gut said no more, she told him to leave. Doesn't mean I didn't cry some big fat ugly tears over him... not him, but the situation. Doesn't mean that I didn't go off through life with the mindset of... no more boys for me.

Because, in fact, I did just that. That last fish changed me. It made me believe that I was chasing love. That I could have that amazing relationship, and that I had been definitely looking in all the wrong places. That should have been the big warning there. I had been looking.

You should never look baby. It will come to you. As it did me.


Fish #4

My final fish. The best fish on Earth! The one that came to me. The one that had to win me over. The one that had that warm and real eyes out of a movie scene love story right before my eyes. Your father. Although, I will save this for a later letter in time (as I have another novel to write about our love story with you), let me just say this.... your father loved me, and showed me what true love was in all the right ways. He perfected the term and loved me harder than I ever thought possible... harder than at times I thought I ever deserved. Pure, straight from the heart kind of love. A love that no amount of words could ever describe.

And like your grandmother told me... and still likes to say to me...


"That Pablo.... he's one in a million kind of fish in the sea."

And you, my dear, will find yours one day. Don't go searching. Don't go chasing this fairy tale. This movie scene kind of love. Because I promise you this, when you do find your fish, even if it may take longer, even if it requires patience and trust, just know this... You will instantly realize what true love is truly all about.

Are you smiling yet? I hope so. Now go kiss your papa and tell him thank you for loving your mama. And then come kiss your mama and give her some warm hugs. She probably feels like she doesn't get them as much as she'd like.


I bet she'll even let you poke fun about all those fish in the sea.

I love you baby girl. We don't ever want to see tears fall down your face.

Love,

Your 30 year old Mama, That Found Her One Fish in a Deep Blue Sea :)