A letter to 18 year old me

If you could write a letter to your 18 year old self, what would you say? You wouldn't want to give it all away. Heck, who knows if that 18 year old you, would believe it anyway. Sometimes - you just need to figure it out for yourself...

It's strange thinking about writing a letter to myself. However, this year is about to end, so I figured now is the best time to write a letter to my 18 year old self.

Dear Cynthia,

18. That's a big year. You've already graduated high school and entered college. It should be an exciting time, and it is, but you should really follow your heart. You will see why in the future, it doesn't work out exactly as planned. You've always lived for others, please start living for yourself. Put yourself first. Do what you want to do, you will be much happier that way.

College isn't bad. You meet some amazing people, people who change your life in some way, shape or form. You even learn about those who you've known forever. Sure, you have your differences, but living with them won't be bad. This is by far, not the best years of your life. It gets better... much, much better. 

You will experience some deep stuff in your young life. In the form of a bad relationship. Listen to your intuition about the relationship. I'd love to tell you that it will be okay, but honestly you will regret that decision for a very long time. You are much too precious to deal with any kind of verbal abuse, I wish you could see that. I wish you loved yourself as much as those around you do. Your true friends and family, not this coward who is pretending to love you. Hurting you isn't love. Repeat after me, hurting me isn't love. The effects of that relationship are everlasting, but even if this letter could get to you, I don't think you would listen. You're stubborn. It's a blessing and a curse. 

You´ll get married. And then you´ll realize you´ve made a big mistake. Do not cry over spilt water because at the end, you´ll have learnt so much from this bitter experience. 

Later on you´ll meet your true love, he is everything you ever wanted, but you never thought you deserved. Trust him, he has never hurt you or lead you to believe otherwise. Don't let your past relationship dictate this one. He is not him. That is something you will need to remind yourself of everyday, (see I told you about everlasting effects.) He's good to you and just wait until you see your amazing child. A lovely girl, something you have always wanted, but never thought you would have. You deserve her, every good thing that has ever happened to you, it is well deserved. You will become a wonderful mom too, it's obvious to everyone around you how much your princess will mean to you. You´ll have a lot of love and support around you, it will help in those times when you feel that things aren´t easy. When things become difficult think of your daughter, Micaela, she is so precious and wonderful. She deserves all the love she can get.

Keep in touch with those friends that matter most to you. At 18, I know it's hard, that year was difficult for you and a lot of friendships dissolved because you prioritized someone who didn´t deserve it. That's okay, the ones that are true will come back into your life, in a very unexpected way. You will meet other friends too, that you will feel you have known forever, cherish them. They are true, they are real and they also love you and your family.  

Stay close to God since He will always protect you and keep you away from those things that could damage yourself. 

Your family will be rocked to the core, but you know how strong they are. Your grandpa will be tested and his health will fail at moments, but you know him, he's the energizer bunny, don't cry too hard he'll bounce back. Your relationship with your mom will be the strongest ever. She will be your rock in those first steps of motherhood with Micaela and a major help throughout this wonderful stage of your life. She's been your mom for so long, and knows you so well... she'll be right by your side helping you with your baby. 

You may not be where you thought you were going to be when you thought about yourself at 29, but the place you are at is so much better. You may not have all the money in the world but you have a beautiful, healthy family. That is worth so much more than anything else you can think about!

XOXOXO,

Your future self