It finally hit me the other morning. Not sure that I know exactly what 'it' is. But, I felt this overwhelming desire to tell everyone that walked past me, "hey, I'm a Mom, A MOM!" It's so bizarre, I know. But the reality of it is, when I'm not with Micaela, I'm still her mom. Even when I'm walking down the street, making my work phone calls, eating lunch, sitting on car when we come or go to a business meeting, I'm still her momma. I will be her momma forever. She is like a precious gift that I was given a year-and-almost-four-months ago. A gift that I get to cherish for a lifetime. It's like Christmas morning, but every day of the year. However, with this gift I also feel this unbelievable sense of responsibility. My decisions, actions, words will all play a large role in how Micaela's life takes shape. My interactions with her father will be a key aspect when she's old enough to date (I know, I know. I can't believe I'm thinking that far ahead either!!). But it's reality. In being her momma, I not only feel responsible for her growth, health, education, and her overall well - being, but I also feel responsible for her future. Her personality, establishing her core values, morals, shaping her expectations for future relationships. This realization hit me with such force, such ferocity it nearly knocked me down. It's a huge responsibility. Huge. I don't want to mess things up. I guess my point is: there is SO much to being a Mom. And I get that. 'It' finally hit me.
"'Hey, I'm a Mom. A MOM!!"
I'm Micaela's mom and I will be so, forever. I will strive to be the best mom I can be, today, tomorrow and always. Sure, I'll make mistakes. But, what Mom doesn't? Or hasn't? My mom did and I'm pretty sure your mom did as well. It's what we learn from those mistakes. That's what's important.
One thing I know for sure, there's no mistaking it:
I won't ever take my precious gift, my little princess, for granted.
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